NORTH CAMPUS — Ordering extra balls and stocking the fridges with extra beers, the Helen Newman Bowling Alley is busy preparing for the hundreds of dads visiting over this Parents’ Weekend.
“Wax that floor! Clean the deep fryer! Polish those men’s size 11 shoes!” shouted bowling attendant Murphy Howard, making sure the facilities are in top shape for when the proud Cornell fathers descend on the lanes over the next few days looking to squeeze in a small game during their vacation.
Most of the family patriarchs gave up their Sunday league practice game to see their children in college, but figured they could hit the pins anyway since the alley is so close and convenient.
“My dad told me he’s even bringing his special ball when he comes to see me,” said Jacob Sturgis ’20. “That little beauty won pops the county championships in ’07!”
Sources report that moms will be angrily awaiting dad to finish his game so they can finally have a nice dinner together as a family.