Student Receives Journal and Therapy, Stops Writing for Daily Sun Opinion Section

THE CORNELL STORE—After a few days of privately journaling, Meyer Cliffson ‘27 decided that his biweekly contributions to the Opinion column in the Cornell Daily Sun were no longer necessary to subside his moral insecurities. This unexpected choice was made following his first therapy consultation, in which the therapist immediately provided Cliffson with an extensive list of portable A5 lined journals after reading his column.

“I scribbled out my thoughts and feelings in a pandemic journal for about two years, but as soon as that notebook was filled, there was no way to vent my frustrations other than writing articles for my entire college campus and future employers to read!” said Cliffson, describing the rationale behind his written projections. “While I wrote for the Sun, I completely forgot that I am, in fact, capable of keeping an opinion to myself.”

Although the Cornell Store sells literally every type of notebook made to mitigate public trauma-dumping online, journaling is not always enough to reduce the annoying effects of students’ mental health concerns. A wine-tasting course quenches the insatiable desire to binge drink, complaining insomniacs are commanded to “just sleep,” and students that are unable to ever shut the fuck up are referred to the practice of silent meditation. As a last resort, if the quest for validation and attention persists, students are mailed an application to join the Student Assembly.

“My groundbreaking thoughts on the simple solution to world peace would make an excellent Letter to the Editor, but the soothing sound of writing in cursive against the soft Rhodia paper gave me an epiphany that conflict is actually kind of nuanced if you think about it,” Cliffson explained as he tenderly traced his fingers along the wire of his spiral-bound journal.

At press time, Cliffson decided to compile his Opinion column articles into a portfolio as part of his application to write for CU Nooz, claiming that his passion for excellent journalism continues to grow.