OP-ED: Can The Daily Sun’s “Sex on Thursday” Columnist Please Stop Boning My Girlfriend?

Believe me. I enjoy The Daily Sun’s opinion pieces as much as the next guy. They cover a lot of useful information and interesting topics with thoughtful perspectives. But I have a problem with the Sex on Thursdays column. Specifically, I want whoever writes that column to please stop boning my girlfriend.

I get that this is your job, and you seem to know what you’re talking about, and I admire the sex positivity that your writing promotes. I just can’t help but wrestle with how Thursday after Thursday you actively have sex with my significant other specifically to write your articles. Not cool, man.

When I first heard my boo was going to be in The Daily Sun, I was excited for her! Less so when I realized it was a lurid description of her body contorted in ways I cannot even comprehend on her journey to climax. Had I been the author of this piece, it would have been fine, but the fact that you took creative liberty to slam my woman is downright insulting.

No doubt about it, I loved your essay on how to properly give and receive “road head.” That is until I suggested it to Joanne, when it turned out that she’d “been there, done that” with the best in the business. Thanks a lot, jackass.

I appreciate the journalistic integrity behind the editorial titled “15 Places on Campus To Have Sex With Mark’s Girlfriend,” but seriously?

I get no enjoyment out of this, and I hope she doesn’t either.

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