Nooz Staff October 19, 2016

Administration Pretty Stoked Everybody Seems to Have Forgotten About Health Fee

DAY HALL – Today, over a year and a half since the Gannett Health Fee was enacted, reports indicate that the university administrators are pretty stoked that everybody seems to have outright forgotten about the fee, which at the time incited anger and protests from students opposed to the unnecessary bursar charge.

“Nobody is really bothering us about it anymore, which frankly is awesome because it was so darn stressful last year,” said senior administrator Jane Miller, now much more comfortable sitting in her office with no student sit-ins, as well as enjoying a steady profit from the health fee.

“We were all pretty nervous there for a few weeks! But all the fuss and commotion died down sure enough, and now you don’t even hear students talk about it in passing anymore! They just keep quiet and pay the fee.”

With ample breathing room, the administration plans to meet in the coming weeks to discuss whether or not it would be possible to slip in any other arbitrary fees into tuition bills, with a representative telling reporters “it worked out the first time, so why wouldn’t it work again?”

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