ITHACA—On Friday evening, Joshua Barkley ‘21 detailed Cornell’s desire to stifle free speech in a campus newspaper consumed by 20,000 readers, the seventeenth opinion piece of its kind published this year. “Barkley’s enlightening views on the silencing of conservative voices on Cornell’s campus is truly groundbreaking stuff,” said conservative commentator Aaron Northrup ‘02. “It is…
Racial tensions peaked on Saturday as a minority student thought it would be funny to dress up as a white person for Halloween. The student, who wishes to remain anonymous, has received threats from the majority community. Photos from Facebook reveal that the student, dressed in beige khakis, brown loafers, and a v-neck sweater pulled…
Move-In Day can be a mess, with thousands of students moving into their North Campus dorms. Stay ahead of the curve with these helpful tips: To make moving into your room a breeze, don’t bring anything. Secure a coveted parking spot close to your dorm arriving on campus 3 weeks late. Organize everyone in your…
DAY HALL—The Cornell administration released sweeping new restrictions on Greek life featuring a rule that bans hazing inside of residential chapter houses, but would probably let that stuff slide in annexes. “I understand that there is a deep and storied history of new member education in Greek houses, but this rule is an important step…
ARTS QUAD — Panic quickly spread Tuesday when it dawned upon quad-goers that, oh dear lord, John’s going to attempt to throw the frisbee overhand. “Hey, check this out!” yelled the ambitious freshman as he cocked his arm behind his head, unknowingly putting several passing students at risk of bodily harm. Having never witnessed such…
OFFICE OF ALUMNI AFFAIRS, COLLEGETOWN–After years of famous alumni and world-renowned figures in the arts, sciences, and government giving speeches at Cornell’s convocation ceremonies, the Cornell administration has finally retired the college tradition, citing a lack of any more notable alumni to speak. A transcript from the last planning session for the convocation ceremony before…
NORTH CAMPUS – Upon parking the family’s light blue Town & Country near Mews Hall, the mother of incoming freshman Tricia Duvan ’20 was reportedly, great, already crying over the idea of leaving her only daughter in this new and strange college environment without her mother by her side. “Oh, my sweet, sweet daughter! Just…
SCHOELLKOPF FIELD – Cornell football has just won their second game of the season to raise their record to an unbeaten 2-0, a rare feat for the idling ball club. Although this may seem like a welcome occasion for our student-athletes, some amongst the training staff are a bit wearier of what Cornell has accomplished….
BARTELS HALL—Alexander Pope ‘28, a self-identified social climber, is turning heads at Lindseth Climbing Center with his friendly demeanor. “Climbing is better with buddies!” remarked the beaming sophomore transfer, dusting his chalky hands on a pair of well-worn sweatpants. “I’ve been climbing since the fourth grade, and the thing that always keeps me coming back…
GULF OF MEXICO—Since his return to office, President Donald Trump has issued dozens of executive orders, demanding everything from the end of birthright citizenship to withdrawal from various international agreements. On Friday, the President took things a step further, signing an order entitled “Protecting America From Invasion By Meddling Foreign Drafts and Moistures”, which aims…
