ITHACA, NY – It was recently announced that Ed Helms has been selected to give the convocation speech to the Cornell graduating class of 2014. Helms is best known to Cornellians for his role as “Stu” from the Hangover trilogy.Students have already voiced their enthusiasm to the announcement. “I really can’t believe that Cornell got Ed…
ITHACA, NY – At 11:53 AM, the Cornell Commencement Committee announced that this year’s convocation speaker will be the Grimm Reaper in order to remind seniors that the only remaining milestone in their lives is certain death. “We really want to drive home the fact that after college, current students will spend the rest of…
ITHACA, NY – In honor of Cornell’s sesquicentennial, the university registrar has decided to ruin the senior year experience of the Class of 2015 by canceling AMST2001. “Canceling one of the best classes at Cornell next year—famous not only for teaching students about Cornell’s history but also about unifying classes and inspiring a much deeper…
