BARNES HALL—Congratulations! You made it to the Ivy League! As a Cornell student, you get unlimited access to the finest resources the institution has to offer: world-class professors, cutting-edge research facilities, and a career services department that hasn’t worked on a résumé since the Bush administration. This last detail came as a surprise to unsuspecting Chris Finch ‘24, who approached career advisor Steve Williams for help.
“The economy’s booming! I can’t imagine it’s anywhere as bad as it was back in my day. Did you know I had to apply for jobs during the Great Recession?” recalled Williams for the fourth time in the hour-long meeting. “You kids are so lucky to not have to deal with any of that!”
Finch was shocked to discover that Williams’s last job application was to a Blockbuster Video in the late 2000s, but it explained a lot. “Have you looked into making a profile on LiveJournal? Or MySpace? I heard Amazon and Apple pick up all their employees from there!” suggested Williams to the pre-med Finch. “And make sure you choose a professional username for your AOL mail—wait, what do you mean no one uses those anymore?”
When Finch switched to hard-hitting questions—like how to improve his LinkedIn profile—, Williams had to bring in his coworkers. “We’re not sure what this Lindink website is, but we’re looking it up for you!” reassured Williams, booting up his 2006 Dell Inspiron 6400.
Finch reports that the closest thing he got to useful advice was when Williams showed him where the nearest Blockbuster was, just in case he wanted to apply there.
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