Slope Day Volunteer Wakes Up Early to Get Head Start on Drinking Free Coffee

WILLARD STRAIGHT HALL—Bryn Russell ‘21 got out of bed early this morning so she could have time to drink the coffee provided for Slope Day volunteers before the festivities began.

“I’ve been pounding back espresso shots since 6am,” said Russell. “I want to make sure I’m amped and ready to go by the time I get to the slope!”

“I’m a little worried about Bryn,” said a friend, “she’s getting pretty jittery; I got a message from her with a lot of typos. I think her fingers might be shaking from all the caffeine in her system.”

Russell was later seen in her volunteer shirt struggling to dig a bottle of coffee concentrate out from underneath a tree.

Undergraduate Researcher Makes Breakthrough on Professor’s Desired Coffee Flavors

WEILL HALL – After months of careful research, undergraduate research assistant Elizabeth Wooding ‘19 confirmed that Biomedical Engineering Professor Anthony Watkins’ preferred flavor of coffee is mocha.

“I think we’re going to publish soon,” said Wooding cheerfully following the last bit of data gathered from her many tireless trips back and forth between Starbucks and Dunkin’ Donuts. “Watkins told me he will even get the entire department to review my paper. It’s really unprecedented to have a student so close to publication so early.”

Dr. Watkins was notably impressed by such a careful study into his caffeine consumption habits that he plans on extending an offer for Wooding to remain in his group for the next few semesters. However, Wooding has stated that she would like to be involved with several different experiments within her department, with experts in the bioengineering field who like Gimme! Coffee or Seattle’s Best.

“Elizabeth is one of the best staff members our group has seen in a long time,” Professor Watkins shared. “It would certainly be bittersweet seeing her leave my team, but I suppose I could just use the Keurig in the faculty lounge in the event that she does leave us.”

Elizabeth has also expressed interest in independent research of Goldies sandwich choices among physics PhD candidates next semester.