Medieval Studies Department Hyped Out Of Their Fucking Minds For Game Of Thrones Premiere

GOLDWIN SMITH HALL—Citing the immense cliffhangers and high stakes in the wake of last season, the entire Medieval Studies department is going absolutely fucking mental for the Game of Thrones season 8 premiere.

Omar Alberen ‘20, a Medieval Studies major, has been in full Night’s Watch regalia for weeks and expects this season to be fucking bonkers. “I fucking love this feudalist shit, are you kidding me? I can’t believe it’s finally here,” he said. “I don’t think I’m ready. Do you think I’m ready? Are you ready? Do you love this shit? Are you high right now?”

Faculty from the department have issued additional assignments for all students in the Medieval Studies program. Students will be required to complete 20 pages of fan-fiction and any students without 100% authentic feudal kingdom garb will be docked participation points.

Medieval Studies Program Director David Powers said “I think I’m going out of my fucking mind” before just screaming for twenty minutes. Upon finishing, he was briefly able to listen to some clarifiyng questions, before saying “Hold on, shut-  wait, shut the fuck up- shut the fuck up they just released a new trailer.”

All ten students of the department plan to break into Olin’s Rare and Manuscript Collection to uncover the props needed to complete their Samwell Tarly cosplay.

Student Eager to Fill Void Left By Game Of Thrones Finale With Binge Drinking

COLLEGETOWN—After last night’s explosive Game of Thrones finale, Stanley Climpton ‘19 has announced that he is ready to fill the gaping void left by Game of Thrones’ departure with heavy binge drinking.

“Game of Thrones has been such a huge part of my life since the beginning of the show,” Climpton stated while silently unscrewing his Game of Thrones branded ale, the first of many in an attempt to fill the 1-hour hole left on his Sunday nights. “Some of my friends have taken to healthier habits, such as knitting ‘Game of Thrones’-themed sweaters or carefully crafting Game of Thrones fan-fiction, but I feel the route I’ve taken is the best one for me.” Climpton then proceeded to drunkenly turn on the TV to “…check if any re-runs are on. Maybe they accidentally aired the next episode.”

When asked if he’s considered filling the void with other, harder vices, Climpton mentioned that both crack cocaine and gambling were not “off the table.”