July 4th – CU Nooz

Headlines

“You Probably Wouldn’t Have Heard About It,”: Cool Students Hold Niche, Indie Vigil for Green Dragon Closure
1 day ago1 day ago
“I Have Concepts of a Plan”: Trump Scrambles to Outline Essay
2 days ago2 days ago
New Top Load Washers Claim First Victim
3 days ago3 days ago
Please, I’m So Hungry: CU Print on Page 3 out of 11
4 days ago4 days ago
“Come Down Here and Scan our QR Code!” Cornell Kidnapping Club Grabs Several New Members at ClubFest
6 days ago6 days ago
Freshman Roommate Shows True Colors, Suddenly “Not A Fan” Of Chain-Smoking
1 week ago1 week ago

Report: Holy Shit, It’s Wednesday

Nooz Staff7 years ago7 years ago02 mins

CHICAGO, IL—After being asked “How was your weekend?” as he entered the office, summer intern Connor Lee ‘18 concluded this morning upon gathering data from Monday and Tuesday that, holy shit, it’s Wednesday. “On Monday I just chilled at home, then on Tuesday I hung with my family at the lake, and then…holy shit, it’s…

Student In Charge of Planning America-Themed Family Mixer

Nooz Staff7 years ago02 mins

ARLINGTON, VA—Due to his extensive experience in organizing social events as a member of a fraternity, Winston Jepson ’19 has been trusted to plan an America-themed family mixer this July 4th. “People wearing red, white, and blue enter no questions asked, but if you’re lame then at least bring alcohol for the pregame,” Jepson’s memo…