In A Bold Move Against Guys Who Wear Shorts in 0 Degree Weather, Cornell Health and Safety Introduces Godfrey the Knee-Licking Goblin

CORNELL HEALTH—Administrators from Cornell Health and Safety introduced a new member of their team this morning: Godfrey the Knee-Licking Goblin. “We thought it was past time to fight back against the epidemic that is guys wearing 5” inseam shorts in the middle of winter,” announced Arnold Riggs, newly appointed director of C.U.P.D. (Cornell University Patellar…

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