Last Thursday on X (formerly Twitter), Marjorie Taylor Greene, a House Republican from Georgia, doubled down on her claims of a shadowy “they” capable of “[controlling] the weather.”
This assertion comes in the wake of Hurricane Helene, which left a path of destruction across the southeast; Hurricane Milton, which was upgraded to a category five on Monday, is expected to make landfall in Florida this evening. Now, I’m not certain which “they” in particular Greene is referring to— but I’m happy that in this trying time of disasters and division, she is voicing her support for a (mysterious) member of the nonbinary community.
Although Marjorie Taylor Greene has faced criticism in the past for supporting QAnon, advocating for the execution of her political opponents, and blaming California wildfires on “Jewish space lasers”, my chosen interpretation of her recent tweet yields irrefutable evidence that she has turned over a new leaf.
The mainstream media would have you believe she is a “conspiracy theorist” pushing “hateful rhetoric”, but I’ve done my own research. The truth is obvious: she’s a tragically misunderstood champion of the rights of nonbinary people! Why else would she be sharing such uplifting affirmations?
Sure, some might argue that her tweet was an obvious anti-semitic dogwhistle, or that her and her party’s targeted attacks on transgender and other LGBTQ+ people clearly contradict this reading. But the beauty of doing your own research is that you’re able to selectively ignore troublesome factual evidence, like the fact that Greene was among 100 Congressional Republicans who voted against FEMA disaster relief funding ahead of Helene’s landfall.
Maybe if scientists were as good as I am at curating data, they would be able to convince people like Greene that this season’s devastating hurricanes are a product of climate change. It’s a shame they’re still so hung up on outdated concepts like accuracy and objectivity. Oh well. I prefer the idea that a nonbinary person masterminded this natural disaster anyway– Empowering!
(Note: If you happen to know the identity of Greene’s genderqueer hurricane hatcher, I would really appreciate it if you asked them to redirect Milton away from my favorite vacation spot in Tampa Bay.)
