DAY HALL—Mere hours after it was reported the Trump Administration aims to freeze $1 billion of Cornell’s federal funding, a Go-Fund Me page was created with quite the lofty objective of the exact same amount.
“Trump may have unchecked political power and a cult-like supporter base, but we have this snazzy lil’ link that is easily circulatable,” President Kotlikoff wrote in one of his notoriously inspiring emails to the university.
There are also reports that other tried and true fundraising tactics such as a Krispy Kreme sale are being considered to make up the deficit. Other ideas rumored included a frat flick dance-a-thon, “Pie a Trustee,” and a Ryan Lombardi sudsy car wash.
Some students are not so convinced a GoFundMe is the right avenue to respond. “I do in fact already pay over $90,000 in tuition… and I would rather donate to ‘Help Mr. Bubbles the Puppy Beat Cancer,’” said Rick Gomez ‘26.
Sources have said that if donations stagnate, the administration may or may not get Touchdown involved.
