March 28, 2017

1st Annual Major Cornell Major Tournament Round VI

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CU Nooz is proud to announce the 1st Annual Major Cornell Major Tournament! We’re down to the final round, with two undergraduate majors battling it out to determine once and for all which major is the most likely to get votes in an arbitrary competition. Round 6 ends this Thursday, when we’ll announce which major will receive a wonderful prize in the form of three feature CU Nooz articles. Happy fighting!

Round VI voting has closed. Winner is bolded!

CHEME (4) vs. ARCH (4)
Chemical Engineering: Chemical Engineering has smoked the competition in this tournament, using a strong defense and a lack of social skills to leave their opponents in the fume hood while thrusting themselves into the windowless laboratory spotlight. They got out to a fast start, saying “bel tentativo” to 13-seed Italian in the first round. Their next challenger, Food Sciences, showed up a little too late for the dinner party, probably as a result of how far away Stocking Hall is from everything else. Atmospheric Sciences, still rewatching doppler radar highlights of the recent snowstorm, didn’t stand a chance, and the ChemE’s wasted no time reminding the Science of Earth System majors that the world was going to be destroyed anyway and they might as well drill for oil while the market value was still decent. Then came chemical engineering’s toughest opponent, tournament dark horse and 11-seed Applied and Engineering Physics. Although the Engineering Physics students kept things close, their inevitable demise was set in stone as soon as their advisors realized that someone had let them out of their PSB cages. And now, Chemical Engineering has only one challenger left—Architecture, a high-scoring no-nonsense major with nothing to lose because Dragon Day is coming up anyway. Go Chemical Engineering!

Architecture: The Architecture majors have come out in full force for this tournament, relying heavily on their aesthetic appeal and an opposition driven primarily by a case of Red Bull in Rand Hall. Their first win against Landscape Architecture came in a landslide, which Landscape Architecture majors should have been more prepared for. In the Round of 32, the Chemistry majors evidently brought electrodes to a non-conductive balsawood fight in their easy loss to the architects. 9-seed Materials Science put up a good fight, and their nanoscale research into composite materials makes their microscale turnout in this competition look gigantic by comparison. The Elite Eight saw Architecture’s most formidable opponent, Computer Science, which was neck-in-neck with the AAP students until they found out the decision problem for winning was NP-Complete and gave up. The deciding blow in the previous round was dealt to the Civil Engineers, proving once and for all that concrete is definitively more effective in buildings than in canoes. Now, with a track record of beating every STEM major it’s been pitted against, Architecture has a good chance of besting fellow 4-seed Chemical Engineering in the final and summarily going back to Milstein to continue working. Go Architecture!

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