Graduating Senior Finally Has Time To Enjoy College

LIBE SLOPE—Now free to lie down in the grass watching the sunset after an hour of playing frisbee with friends, graduating senior Adam Schumacher ‘17 finally has time to enjoy his undergraduate years at Cornell.

“I’d been completely bogged down with homework, clubs and tests since I was a freshman, but after finishing my last exam, I can experience all that Ithaca has to offer before commencement this Sunday,” said Schumacher, who until recently had been consumed with maintaining his GPA, and for the first time will be able to appreciate his soon-to-be alma mater.

“I absolutely love Cornell now that I’m finished with all my degree requirements and the demanding expectations I’ve had to deal with over four years.”

Sources report that, in a matter of months, Schumacher will look back fondly on his days of extraordinary academic stress, social pressure and seasonal affective disorder.

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