Student Filibusters Entire Lecture After Realizing Participation Worth 30% of Final Grade

WARREN HALL—In a last ditch effort to save her abysmal participation grade, Isabel Miranda ‘22 spent all 75 minutes of her final AEM Statistics lecture asking a single question.

“You know, I just did the math,” Miranda explained after class. “Most people contribute, what? Once a class? Maybe? Taking up every minute of class asking a nonsense question would technically make me a top participator this semester.”

Miranda appeared to run out of material 15 minutes in, but revived herself with a tactical working of Toni Morrison poetry into her question about hypothesis testing. 

“Frankly, I can’t decide if I’m more impressed or annoyed,” noted Jasmine Yang ‘22. “I don’t think anyone else in the class could go on for that long, but then again, no one else in the class skipped every single discussion section.”

Classmates were especially impressed when Miranda refused to yield the floor when she had to go to the bathroom, and instead screamed bloody murder to be heard from the women’s room.

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