Tag Archives: Activism

Cornell Cinema Supporter Celebrates Continued Funding by Attending First Movie There

CORNELL CINEMA—After weeks of mobilizing students to save Cornell Cinema, Simone Ellis ‘19 reacted to the S.A. and Administration’s agreement to establish secure Cinema funding by purchasing movie tickets for the first time. “Cornell Cinema is one of the best benefits of attending this school, so of course I was Read More

Students Too Sad to Masturbate Until Tomorrow or Friday Probably

CORNELL CAMPUS – Following the results of the 2016 presidential election, much to the chagrin and disappointment of a large portion of the overly liberal Cornell campus, reports indicate that many students are far too sad to masturbate and will likely stay that way until tomorrow or Friday at the Read More

“Fight the Fee” Protesters Continue to Picket Skorton’s Smithsonian Office

WASHINGTON, D.C.– Still angered over the introduction of the new Gannett health fee, student activists stormed into Smithsonian Secretary David Skorton’s office in Washington, refusing to leave until the fee was revoked. “We are here to show the administration that the student body will not quietly sit back and succumb Read More

Cornell Proposes New Protest Fee

DAY HALL- University officials announced this morning an annual fee will be added to tuition in order to address budget shortfalls caused by student protests. “We love that our students participate in the Democratic process by exerting their first amendment rights,” said President David Skorton, “but it is only necessary Read More

Journalist Successfully Uncovers Cornell’s Unwavering Support for ISIS

DAY HALL- Thanks to the actions of investigative journalists at Project Veritas, the Cornell community was shocked and appalled to learn Wednesday that the University strongly supports the actions of ISIS, the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria. “Yeah, that would be okay,” said Assistant Dean of Students Joe Scaffido, Read More