Depressed Architecture Student Eats Macaroni Sculpture

MILSTEIN HALL–Armed with a hot glue gun and 218 boxes of uncooked pasta, fifth year AAP student Julia Pisano undertook the challenge of a lifetime: the construction of McGraroni Tower–a 1:20 scale model of Cornel’s most notable landmark. Upon its completion, instead of stepping back and admiring her marvel of modern architecture, Pisano broke into a fit of hysterics and took a bite out of the roof. 

Originally a thought experiment for ARCH 5120: Alternative Building Materials, Pisano’s personal project quickly took on a life of its own. After three weeks of intensive study, careful planning, and painstaking pasta management, McGraroni Tower stood at a massive eight feet eight inches tall and was composed of nearly fifteen pounds of pasta. It took Pisano only two hours to completely consume. 

“I didn’t know if what I was watching was art or just really sad,” explained Mark Atkins ‘25. “It was gut-wrenching. Like literally, the thought of eating all that pasta made me want to vomit.” Atkins went on to explain that, luckily for Pisano, her tears seemed to soften the noodles as she ate them. 

Unsure of how Pisano was able to produce a structurally sound piece of architecture using only pasta, Dean of AAP Bill Derman called in a team of forensic experts in an attempt to reconstruct Pisano’s process, stating, “Edible housing could completely reshape the industry. Think tortellini towers, fettuccine flooring, spaghetti spires.” The results of the investigation were largely inconclusive, as the only evidence recovered were lasagna noodles carved with pleas for help. 

Unfortunately, the motivation behind this macaroni massacre may never be known as Pisano promptly fell into a food coma following her feast. 

Much-Needed Extra Seating Almost Added To Klarman Atrium

ARTS QUAD — After being dumped on the Arts Quad and deemed as “close enough,” a large pile of much-needed seating for Klarman Hall almost made it to its destination this week.

“We got really close,” said Facilities Manager James Alwin. “I mean, a few hundred more yards and we would’ve made it into Klarman and finally could fill up the atrium with chairs. I feel like that’s commendable.”

This effort was the latest in providing Klarman Hall with enough places to sit down, with notable past attempts ending with chairs as far as Cayuga Lake. An occasional bench has made its way to the hall.

“Everyone is used to sitting on the floor, but it’s nice to know that the requisite number of chairs for this large empty room is getting closer and closer” said Jackie Michula ‘17, adding “My lower extremities fell asleep hours ago.”

Facilities has reported that they are aware of the problem, and until a solution can be found they suggest students take chairs from the pile outside.