Generous Professor Won’t Make You Buy Books, As Long As You Print 5,000 Pages of Readings

GOLDWIN SMITH HALL—Introduction to American Government professor Don Goodin has magnanimously introduced a policy of no required books, instead providing thousands of pages of online reading that must be printed.

The generosity has not gone unnoticed by students. “Professor Goodin really gets that some students just can’t afford all the books,” said Nanette Warner ‘22. “I’ve saved so much money by printing this set of encyclopedias on campus.”

Goodin’s syllabus made clear from the beginning of the semester that he would try to make things easier for the students, including requiring print copies because it stimulates learning. With this altruistic goal, students are also able to spend 45 minutes getting to know the libraries while the 5,000 pages print.

“Thank God I don’t have spend my own money on a book I’ll only read once. I absolutely hate waste,” said Warner, from behind a three-foot stack of loose paper containing the complete works of William Shakespeare.

In class, Professor Goodin references the readings from an electronic copy he keeps open on his laptop.

Professor Selling Signed Copies of Own Fluid Mechanics Textbook

CORNELL STORE — Sitting outside on Ho Plaza with a stack of books and a pen at the ready, Chemical Engineering professor David Ernst is offering students signed copies of his self-published book, “Fundamentals of Fluid Mechanics and Magnetohydrodynamics.”

“I’m trying to generate a lot of buzz about this book,” said Dr. Ernst, “so I’ve been out here all day promoting it, and I’m scheduled to do a live reading at Goldies later this week.”

The author is hoping to turn heads in the industry and is in talks to sign a book deal for three more sequels with Penguin publishers, though he has been told his content needs to appeal more to the teenage demographic before it can really go anywhere.

“I think mostly the people buying are in my MAE 3230 class, which lists the textbook as a requirement, but I’ve had a few others stop by and ask me about it. I explained the premise of how the viscosity of non-Newtonian fluids depends on shear rate to some interested Sociology majors, and they told me they might buy a copy on their way out of the store!”

The textbook is currently ranked at 2,052,030 on the Amazon Best Sellers list selling for $300.