BUILDER BASE—In what would appear to be the second clan-related controversy of his tenure, Interim President Michael Kotlikoff announced Thursday that the Cornell administration would NOT be gemming McGraw Tower’s level 10 upgrade.
“I understand students’ frustration,” said Kotlikoff. “McGraw Tower is an iconic landmark, and these upgrade times are disheartening. However, I would remind them that patience is a virtue, and all good things take time. Do they really want to graduate with a rushed base?”
“It’s a terrible financial decision,” argued Nils Peterson ‘26, a third-year in Dyson. “With our fully upgraded gem mine, the finished clock tower upgrade is passive income. Our gem output goes from five to six with a daily boost, and the acquisition of additional gems from clearing obstacles is made significantly more convenient. Our university’s endowment netted nearly 600,000 gems this year alone! Surely we can afford to fast-track an upgrade that most students want to see done as soon as possible.”
Ian Barbar, a representative from the board of trustees, disagreed. “Gemming this upgrade would be a risky investment and the wrong move for the university. Supercell has abandoned the builder base—if it sees another rework, the clock tower’s effectiveness might take a hit. Furthermore, the inclusion of the Helper Hut in the November 2024 update suggests a development direction that may require our saved gems. What if, for example, a pet house helper is added in the next year? Surely we want to prioritize that. The vet school tells me their animals are still underleveled and have little attack utility.”
While he conceded that these were good points, Peterson was still skeptical. “In the last three years, the board has spent 15% of our gem reserves on direct gold and dark elixir purchases from the treasure tab of the shop. That’s unconscionable. Those offers are a decade-old holdover from before magic items and worth a fraction of the value of a simple training boost and sneaky goblin farming session. I don’t trust them to handle our gems.”
At press time, Kotlikoff was spotted one-starring his Clan War League battle with a poorly-funneled mass electro dragon attack.
