VATICAN CITY—Pope Francis remains in critically awesome condition, according to Holy See officials.
“On February 14, His Holiness was admitted to Rome’s Gemelli Hospital for complications resulting from a gnarly wipeout,” said Vatican spokesman Matteo Bruni. “We pray that he recovers as quickly as his nimble board grinds down the railings of St. Peter’s Basilica.”
Francis, 88, has been hospitalized several times in recent years for coolness-related injuries. In 2021, doctors treated the pontiff for graffiti-induced spray paint inhalation, and he was back in the operating room two years later for finger surgery after shredding too hard on his electric guitar.
The Catholic leader expressed gratitude for the supportive notes, prayers, and photographs he has received from around the world.
“I have recently received many messages of affection, and I have been particularly struck by the amount of dope stuff you’re all doing,” he said in a statement on X. “I truly appreciate the pictures you have sent to cheer me up. Seeing the faithful hitting the slopes, biking the trails, and surfing the magnificent waves of God’s beautiful Earth has inspired me greatly!”
According to the Vatican, early tests showed “dangerously heightened indicators of radicality” in Francis’ blood, but this is now under control.
