Wind Announces Plans to Blow Snow Directly Into Your Face

CENTRAL – In a recent press conference, Ithacan wind patterns announced a recently launched initiative to blow snow directly into your face.

Having made clear the great effort required to accomplish such a feat, the wind told campus officials that it would stop at nothing to ensure that all students get to experience the sting of frozen particles against their already chilled faces, adding that preventive measures, such as turning one’s head, would be inevitably met by an instant change in wind direction.

“I just don’t want anyone to miss out on entire character-building winter experience here at Cornell, and so I guarantee that whenever snow is falling, it will also be blowing in your face,” explained the wind.

The wind did, however, add that if students truly wanted to avoid snow blowing in their face, they should move someplace warmer.

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