OP-ED: I Totally Murdered That Prelim

There are a lot of rumors surrounding the events taken place on the night of April 18th. Many of these rumors, in fact, suggest my involvement in said incident. I’ve been guarded and dodgey in my responses to inquiry about that evening. Some see my reservedness as a sign that I may have not been associated; others view it as a confession. But the truth weighs heavy, buried deep inside my chest. I’m finally ready to tell the world: I murdered that prelim.

I killed it, plain and simple. I studied for weeks for MATH 4310. For hours at a time, even pulling all-nighters. I was determined to optimize my potential for succeeding when that fateful evening would come. Sitting in the lecture hall, blood pulsing through my veins as I patiently waited for my victim, I knew no multiple choice on extended response question could stand in my way. When the TA handed me that thin packet of white paper, there was no doubt in my mind. I had to do it. Killing the prelim wasn’t a choice.

I did it quietly, real professional and all. I wasn’t hasty – I took the whole 90 minutes to make sure I thoroughly killed it. There was no room for error, like last year when I only maimed that Econ prelim. I played it cool as I handed the Prelim to my TA, but inside I was brimming with energy, certain of my success.

Will I kill again? Who knows, finals are right around the corner…

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