October 31, 2016

Couple’s Cigarette and Lung Costume A Good Sign They’re Breaking Up Soon

COLLEGETOWN — Actively indicating they will destabilize their crumbling relationship by the end of the night, juniors Katie Riley and Jason Daniels arrived at a Halloween party in a cigarette and lung couple costume, a pretty good sign that they will soon be breaking up.

“We’re going through a rough patch at the moment,” said Daniels, whose festive medical attire together with his girlfriend is an assured indicator that their six months together are coming to a firey end.

The two emotional wrecks, expressing throughout the night that the past two years have been a total waste, eagerly posed for pictures in their cute but ultimately egregious choice of Halloween outfit.

“I just feel sorry for them,” said fellow partygoer Julie Dryzek ‘19, as her and her boyfriend in their peanut butter and jelly costumes danced happily to the spooky music. “I can’t imagine what the decision process was like for that costume. They must have already known by then.”

Sources confirmed that after the party was over the two drunkenly stumbled into the mud, ruining their costumes in addition to any hope of a future together.

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