Cornell Successfully Distracts Students Angry About Health Fee by Raising Tuition

DAY HALL — Cornell celebrated the rousing success of their plan to distract students angry about the new Health Fee by raising tuition again.

“We asked ourselves, how can we get all these angry students to forget about the health fee? Then we realized — maybe they will forget about the fact that we are charging them more money if we charge them even more money,” says President Skorton.

“It worked better than we ever could have imagined.”

Like This!