March 15, 2017

1st Annual Major Cornell Major Tournament Round I

Cornell-majors-bracket(2)

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CU Nooz is proud to announce the 1st Annual Major Cornell Major Tournament! 64 undergraduate majors will battle it out to determine once and for all which major is the most likely to get votes in an arbitrary competition. Look over the bracket, read up on what each major is, and vote for who you’d like to see move on to the next round! Round 1 voting ends this Friday. After Friday, the Round 1 winners will be announced, and voting for the next round will open up. In the end, the last major standing will receive a wonderful prize in the form of three feature CU Nooz articles. Happy fighting!

Round I voting has closed. Here are the results! Winners are bolded.

BIOG (1) vs. ANTHR (16)
Biological Sciences: One of the broadest majors, where steadfast and determined pre-med students look on in envy of marine biology concentrators.
Anthropology: Answering all of the questions about modern and ancient societies that nobody really ever asked for an answer to.

Atmospheric Science (8) vs. ASIAN (9)
Atmospheric Science: Great conversationalists, provided you’re talking about the weather.
Asian Studies: Thousands of years of fascinating history and great food.

FDSC (5) vs. PLSCI (12)
Food Sciences: Cooking, but more interesting/boring depending on your outlook on chemistry.
Plant Sciences: Remember looking at a plant cell under a microscope in 7th
grade? These students NEVER got over that rush.

CHEME (4) vs. ITAL (13)
Chemical Engineering: You probably got a 5 on AP Calculus, AP Physics, and AP Chemistry.
Italian: You want to study abroad in Italy. Eccezionale!

LING (6) vs. BEE (11)
Linguistics: Nothing is sexier than being able to roll your R’s while explaining the original dialect of rolled R’s.
Biological and Environmental Engineering: Math for outdoorsy types.

HIST (3) vs. DEA (14)
History: Studies the past to understand why they’ll be working at
a museum in the future.
Design and Environmental Analysis: Responsible for your building’s Go Green initiative every time.

PHIL (7) vs. Science of Earth Systems (10)
Philosophy: Learn to think logically and ask life’s biggest questions, like “is it worth it to get a Ph.D. in Philosophy?”.
Science of Earth Systems: Where oceanographers are brainwashed into forgetting that Ithaca is nowhere near an ocean.

AEM (2) vs. Independent (15)
Applied Economics and Management: It may be easy, and you may get a discount if you’re from New York, but on the bright side, you’ll likely get a high-paying consulting job right out of college.
Independent Major: Oh, look at you, you’re an independent major. So sorry that Cornell didn’t already offer a major that combined high-latitude mycology and musical production. I’m sure your frozen fungus play will be a smash hit.

MECHE (1) vs. FSAD (16)
Mechanical Engineering: We get it, you used to play with Legos as a kid and never grew out of it.
Fiber Science and Apparel Design: Have been trying to find a way to make puffy winter coats fashionable for the past few decades.

SOC (8) vs. DSOC (9)
Sociology: Fancy word for “less-interesting Psychology”.
Development Sociology: Sociology in interesting places.

PAM (5) vs. PMA (12)
Policy Analysis and Management: Studies policy and management, but different from government because… well it’s kind of like AEM but there’s… okay seriously what do these people do?
Performing and Media Arts: Because being called a “theater major” sounded too pretentious.

ANSCI (4) vs. AMST (13)
Animal Science: A great major if you want to constantly be reminded how you’ll probably not get into Cornell Vet School.
American Studies: Finally, history classes that emphasize the United States of America.

PHYS (6) vs. AEP (11)
Physics: Ideal for students who love both math and Ultimate Frisbee.
Engineering Physics: For fucks sake, these people have to be the smartest out of all of us right? Engineering Physics? Are you kidding me? Take your degree and go save the world, you geniuses.

ECON (3) vs. COML (14)
Economics: What, is AEM too good for you?
Comparative Literature: Really interesting if you like comparing your bank account balance to the number zero.

FGSS (7) vs. SPAN (10)
Feminist, Gender, and Sexuality Studies: Perfect for getting all the information you need to counter your sexist uncle at Thanksgiving next year, or any other jerks you may happen to encounter in life.
Spanish: You want to study abroad in Spain/Latin America. Muy bien!

COMM (2) vs. VIEN (15)
Communications: Only for people who have a minimum of eight years of experience talking or communicating in some way or another.
Viticulture and Enology: A major for the more refined intellectual, and one for people who don’t get invited on wine tours anymore.

HADM (1) vs. ENTOM (16)
Hotel Administration: You may make fun of them, but they’re sipping a Tom Collins and enjoying themselves right now.
Entomology: “Check out my cool bugs!”, or, equivalently, “Go away”. Great to bring up in conversation, bad to bring back to your triple in Jameson.

FREN (8) vs. GERST (9)
French: You want to study abroad in France/Canada/Tahiti. Formidable!
German: You want to study abroad in Germany. Fantastisch!

MATH (5) vs. MUSIC (12)
Mathematics: Booooooring.
Music: Explore the nuances and meaning behind history’s greatest artists, starting at Beethoven and ending right before Young Thug performed at Cornell.

CEE (4) vs. AGSCI (13)
Civil Engineering: You probably got a 5 on AP Calculus, AP Physics, but only managed a 4 on AP Chemistry and/or you’re really into bridges.
Agricultural Science: A major where the world’s smartest cows and sheep join to eat some Ivy-league grass.

ORIE (6) vs. ESS (11)
Operations Research and Engineering: AEM on expert mode.
Environmental Science and Sustainability: Tree huggers who are unabashedly proud of it.

GOVT (3) vs. CRP (14)
Government: History, but sounds nicer when you’re running for a State Senate seat.
City/Regional Planning: Because there’s only so much to plan out in rural Kansas.

INFO (7) vs. NS (10)
Information Science: Computer science, but with more exposure to the sun.
Nutritional Sciences: Will make you feel bad about anything you’ve ever eaten that does not contain the word “quinoa”.

ENGL (2) vs. STSCI (15)
English: What the heart wants and what the parents despise.
Statistics: If I hear another one of you say “numbers never lie” I’m gonna lose it.

ILR (1) vs. ART (16)
Industrial and Labor Relations: It’s like pre-law, but nothing like pre-law and they’ll fight you about that.
Fine Arts: For students who took a trip to the MOMA and thought “you bet your ass I can make something weirder than that”.

RELST (8) vs. MSE (9)
Religious Studies: New class to be offered this fall explaining what the hell is happening in The Young Pope.
Material Science and Engineering: Finally, a way to fulfill your childhood dream of growing up to study polymers one day.

CHEM (5) vs. ASRC (12)
Chemistry: Did you actually enjoy Orgo? Then come join these other crazy people!
Africana Studies: Majority of these students’ time at Cornell is spent walking to the Africana Library.

ARCH (4) vs. LA (13)
Architecture: The creators of dragons and the seekers of sleep.
Landscape Architecture: If you love plant science, artistic freedom, AND a lack of sleep, this major is for you.

ECE (6) vs. NES (11)
Electrical and Computer Engineering: For people who thought Tank was the main character in The Matrix.
Near Eastern Studies: So… can you guys fix any of this stuff going on?

PSYCH (3) vs. ARKEO (14)
Psychology: For those who want to ponder the greatest mysteries of how the mind works, while also bugging their friends to participate in their latest survey.
Archeology: History, but dirtier. Used to be for fans of Indiana Jones, but now mostly for fans of National Treasure.

HD (7) vs. BSOC (10)
Human Development: Find out once and for all how babies are made.
Biology and Society: One of those newfangled interdisciplinary majors. Just pick one thing!

CS (2) vs. CLASS (15)
Computer Science: Where nerds congregate to make fun of those nerds in Information Science.
Classics: If Homer was alive today he would tell you to study something more useful.

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