September 5, 2017

Former Trillium Salad Tosser Finally Feels Appreciated For Her Talent

TRILLIUM— After observing lines of dejected students struggling to adapt to the new self-serve salad station at Trillium, former salad tosser Rita Jenkins finally felt appreciated for her lunch-assembling expertise.

“Students shouldn’t feel so frustrated when trying to serve themselves for the first time,” commented the seasoned craftsman. “Everyone knows that using plastic tongs to put leaves in a box is an advanced-level skill.”

The retired expert watched as budding salad-makers filed through the station, making classic mistakes such as piling the vegetables too high or failing to dress their salads cleanly in between the lines.

“It takes years of practice to develop the confidence, hand-eye coordination, and technique needed for this task,” said Jenkins before admitting that she possessed a natural gift for estimating the elusive base-to-fixings ratio, “but I see a whole lot of potential here.”

The master of her art smiled sympathetically as a flabbergasted straight-A scholar attempted to mix his salad by shaking the flimsy cardboard box, spilling its soggy contents all over his shirt.

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