OP-ED: I Don’t Know That Much About Greek Life, But Now That I Have Your Attention, Could You Take A Look At My Rash?

Hey there! Bet you saw the words “greek life” in the title and thought, “lookie here, another think piece weighing in on the current active discourse,” but nope, I don’t have much to say about Greek Life at all. But now that I have your attention, could you take a quick look at this rash on my shoulder?

I’m really sorry if you were looking for valid concerns about the misogyny and racism that greek life appears to breed on campus, but I think I have some equally valid concerns about the rash currently spreading across my upper left arm. And while I could be discussing the various actions the campus could take to increase diversity, I’d rather get some suggestions for the various actions I could get to combat this vicious itch I’ve been experiencing on humid days.

Let’s face it, with all the dialogue on this subject going on at the moment, a think piece about Greek Life would just be another drop in the pond, just like the pus that has recently started dripping from the upper shoulder region of my body. Seriously, I could really use a second opinion on this one. I’ve been to at least three doctors, and two of them kicked me out of their offices just because of the smell.

Look, I get it. Everyone has a lot to say about the slim positives and many negatives of greek life on our campus, but if everyone could just spend a little less time collecting their varied opinions together and a little more time directing their attention to the rash that has spread to my other shoulder in the time it took to write this, it would be really appreciated. Thanks.