WILLARD STRAIGHT HALL—After the Convocation Committee’s exhaustive search to find a speaker resulted in a last-minute cancellation by Hassan Minhaj, the committee has unilaterally decided to give up and just throw on an old episode of “Bill Nye The Science Guy” to play at Convocation.
“Kids love the show’s zany experiments and humorous sketches, and scrambling to put something together at the last minute after someone drops out isn’t easy,” said committee member Sarah Finkelstein ‘19. “Hopefully these decades-old VHS tapes of Bill differentiating between sedimentary and metamorphic rocks entertain all the seniors for at least 40 minutes, or at least get them excited about science.”
Before settling on their final plans, the Convocation Committee also considered putting on an episode of “The Magic Schoolbus” and taking everyone at Convocation on a field trip to the Johnson Museum.
“Those other two ideas sounded relatively simple and fun, but it turns out Bill Nye actually went to school here. Once we realized we could tie our last minute ass-covering plan to Cornell, the decision pretty much made itself,” added Convocation Committee Chair Maya Doyle ‘19.
Though Bill Nye offered to actually come speak in person after hearing the news, the committee chose not to accept as choosing someone who offered to come beforehand would make them look desperate and unprepared.