HO PLAZA—At 11:03am this morning, sophomore Chad Murray was seen skating down Ho Plaza like a total boss, just absolutely rippin’ it.
Several sources also thought that Murray was “doing ollies like it was nothing,” and “laying down the law for all [you] young hopefuls out there” who also wanted to “kill the game,” but they just weren’t saying it. When asked for comment, Murray responded that he was “just doing [his] own thing like all the other bros [sic],” and that it was actually called a “longboard.”
“I’m not really sure what the point of all this is,” said Julia Krieger ’16, who, after witnessing all the sick-ass sliding, grinding, and flipping, would totally let him smash. “Is that really an effective way to get around campus?”
After deliberately disregarding the dismount zone between Olin and Uris, Murray was unable to show all the eager spectators on the Arts Quad those straight-up legit shredding maneuvers, most likely after he found himself knee-deep and drowning in it.