OP-ED: I Think Quiet Parties Can Still Be Fun

Hey guys, you having a party here? Can I see some ID’s? Thank you. Everybody over 21 in here? Glad to hear it. We’ve been getting some noise complaints from this house, so I’m going to have to ask you to turn down the volume on the music. I’m not trying to be the bad guy here, just trying to keep the peace. And hey, I think you can still have fun even without loud music.

There, see? Now that the music is quieter, you can actually hear what people are saying and you can have a real conversation without shouting. That sounds like fun to me.

Again, don’t shoot the messenger, but either the electro-dance and trip-hop gets turned from an 11 down to a 3, or this party is going to be shut down now. And neither of us wants that. Heck, I still want you to have a fun night, and you totally can! There’s no rule that you can only dance to music that makes it feel like your ears are about to explode. Try dancing to some softer tunes, and I bet you’ll find it just as enjoyable, because it comes with the knowledge that you’re not disturbing your neighbors. Back in my day, all we needed to have a good time was a Fleetwood Mac record and a hacky sack – why don’t people hacky sack anymore?

Oh, and while I’m at it, why do students always drive around with their windows down and the pop songs blasting? What if other people don’t want to listen to those Backstreet Boys while they’re walking down Dryden? That’s more of a side note, but it’s still always baffled me.

Anyway, thanks for bumping down the beats, my man. And as far as making sure no underage students get in here to drink, keep up the good work.