January 25, 2017

Transfer Student Already Cold

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OUTSIDE DAY HALL – After zipping up his jacket all the way to his chin, putting on a second pair of socks, and donning a fluffy winter hat, reports indicate that spring transfer Kyle Ortiz ’20 is already cold.

“Brrr, it’s cold here! Certainly different from the University of Miami,” said Ortiz, seemingly unaware of the possibility that temperatures would likely fall into the teens by February and the frigid weather would linger through May.

“Holy cow, it is freezing! I wonder when this cold front will let up.”

Ortiz proceeded to buy a heavier pair of gloves from the Cornell Store before ultimately determining that he transferred to the wrong college.

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