WEST CAMPUS — Known for employing unique initiation rituals that date back to Medieval Europe, brothers of Sigma Zeta Delta are reportedly renovating the house dungeon to comply with New York State hazing laws in preparation for this season’s pledge class.
“The state legislatures mandate we remove the rust from all the pokers, chains and nails, so we’re taking this weekend to make sure our new members will be tetanus-free through the process” said Social Chair Roger Sullivan ‘18, as he polished off a pair of shackles.
“It wasn’t too long ago that I myself was shut inside that iron maiden for two days as a pledge. But we don’t want any of my caked-on blood to infect our new brothers, so it’s time to disinfect.”
Once he had finished rebuffing the fraternity’s knee-splitter, Sullivan concluded his hard day’s work by releasing a member of last year’s pledge class from the pillory.