February 7, 2017

Prep School Kid Went To Prep School, Repeats Prep School Kid

COURT HALL — Stating earlier today that he “went to prep school,” freshman prep school kid Davison Williams has repeated that he went to a prep school.

“I attended a private boy’s academy in Connecticut, along with His Excellency The Prince of Kuwait, or have I already mentioned that?” asked Williams, taking every opportunity in the conversation to remind his peers that he did not attend a public high school like they did nor does he know what it would even be like without the bucolic landscape of campus gracing the morning’s croquet game before class.

“The administration at Dansbury Country School prizes academic excellence. That’s not to say there’s anything wrong with the American education system, I’m sure it’s fine, but there’s no comparison to our professors and visiting lecturers, one of which was Nobel Prize winner John Nash. Anyways, back to our discussion about Reservoir Dogs.”

Williams added that his time at preparatory school was an enriching experience that he wouldn’t trade for the world or the hundreds of thousands of dollars in tuition his parents have been paying since he was five.

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