Nooz Staff December 4, 2018

Professor Really Going For Applause With Last Lecture

KLARMAN HALL–As the end of class drew near this Tuesday, Professor Janet Williams shut off her overhead projector, walked in front of the podium, and began an impromptu closing monologue about the educational values she hopes to have imparted on the future leaders of America.

“I’d like to shift gears for a few minutes now, and have all of you think about what you’ve learned this semester,” began Williams, departing from her lectures’ usual professional and factual tone. “I will be truly humbled if all of you find ways to take the skills you’ve developed from learning about causal inference in policymaking, and apply them in your future adult lives.”

Most of Williams’ students briefly looked up from their phones to follow the 12-minute heartfelt closing remarks with a respectful yet brief chorus of obligatory golf claps. “The course wasn’t that great, but she was really heaping it on at the end–I felt like I had to clap after she tried so desperately to win our approval,” said Michael Chavez ‘20.

“Teaching undergraduates can be draining sometimes, but the ovation I received today made it all worth it,” Williams concluded, content with her management of a class that most students will forget they even took by next March.

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