Woah Woah Weeoawww! Bumbling Parent Slips on Banana-Flavored White Claw Can

ARTS QUAD—Cornell’s Family Weekend is a treasured opportunity for families to reunite, take up all the tables at local restaurants, and visit that one waterfall. But for one family, the experience was not so idyllic. As Meredith Ellington ‘89 wandered across the arts quad, presumably to disrupt innocent students attempting to study in A.D. White Library, she made a fateful error. Eyes glued to her Facebook account, where she had already posted 17 status updates, Ellington stepped directly onto a littered can of banana-flavored White Claw. Her arms swirled in a helicopter-esque motion and her feet flailed as she attempted to regain balance. Alas, her efforts were futile. 

Countless onlookers, all wearing the same family weekend tee-shirt, reported to have witnessed the tragic accident. “First I was like, oh my god, are you okay?” recounted witness Jamaal Perez. “Then I was like, who’s playing the ragtime piano music?” 

Jessica Ellington ‘27, a CALS freshman, also witnessed her mother’s senseless antics. “My mom is like, soooo embarrassing,” Ellington said. “First she wanted to walk next to me, then refused to take off the lanyard necklace, and now this.” 

When reached for comment, Meredith Ellington replied, “Woah Woah Weeoawww.”

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