OLIN LIBRARY—It’s in with the new and out with the old at Olin Library during its new renovations! The flooring, walls, ceilings, and furniture of the building will get an upgrade, but the transformation will also replace the old and dirty Rare Books collection with newer, more modern literature.
A dusty, vibe-killing original copy of the Federalist papers signed by Alexander Hamilton will be replaced with a hip and chic transcript of Hamilton the Musical, signed by Lin Manuel Miranda. One of the particularly decrepit and crumpled Dead Sea Scrolls, a copy of the Old Testament from 200 BCE, will be replaced by a cleaner and more modern iteration, My First Read and Learn Bible by Pastor Greg.
Asked for comment, library attendant Jim Granock ‘24 said: “I love that they are finally throwing out all the old junk in this room, it always smelled awful. Yesterday, I had to toss this really gross and grimy document out, I think it was signed by like a Julio Chees-er or something. Whatever it was, good riddance.”
Some other students protested the upgrades, with claims that the university was “destroying priceless artifacts” and “setting back years of historical research”. The administration, however, still remains committed to renovating the library in full, including its collection of grubby old papers.
A few other swaps that will be made include throwing out a 16th-century copy of The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli and replacing it with The Art of the Deal by Donald Trump. Additionally, The Iliad by Homer will no longer be available, and instead, students can access The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan for Greek mythological research.
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