Freshman Feels A Little Better Than Home Friends Every Time They Say The Word “Prelim”

WESTCHESTER, NEW YORK—Visiting home for the weekend, Trevor Troob ‘27 was surprised to find that every time he mentioned the concept of prelim, it went straight to his head. Though Troob’s ego was already somewhat inflated, after clarifying that prelims were “like the Cornell versions of tests,” he began to realize how much better he was than everyone else.

“Prelim is another word for exam?” questioned Troob’s friend, Annika Wheele. “It seemed like a pretty understandable concept, but Trevor explained it six times, so I think I must’ve missed something. It’s nice to see him so engaged in his studies, he had a huge grin on his face while telling us all about it.”

As Troob continued to accidentally call his upcoming tests “prelims” on purpose, he realized how far he had come. Looking around at his closest friends, many of whom had known him since childhood, Troob could tell that he had simply become ever so slightly superior to them. Now that they were unfamiliar with the single piece of Cornell specific vocabulary he had acquired, the widening gap between their intellect and his own became apparent.

“Any simpleton can take an exam, but only a learned Cornellian can take a Prelim,” stated Troob. “It just so perfectly captures the essence of what makes our institution so excellent, and by extension, what makes other people just a tad inferior to me. I hadn’t realized it before, but going to a university with a mildly positive reputation actually does diminish my opinion of others.”

At press time, Troob had grown quite reticent to discuss his prelims after receiving the scores.