Balch Hall Gerrymandered to Become Part of Central Campus

North Campus — In a press conference today , President Skorton announced his decision to change up the lines separating Cornell’s Campus to make Balch Residential Hall part of Central Campus. Skorton argued that this move would significantly improve campus life.

“Many people are concerned that most residential halls are too far away from the main academic buildings on campus. To resolve these concerns a team has redrawn the borders to make it look like people can live on Central,” the President said.

The move is not unprecedented. In 1943, the University expanded Central campus to include what was then seen as a long painful walk to the Dairy Bar. Perhaps most significantly, in 1962, Cornell annexed all of New York City to teach its medical students how disease can spread in an urban environment.

Most members of the Board of Trustees supported this decision. Marla Solkowitz declared that “No longer will students have to dread walking twenty minutes to class every morning in the rain, sleet, snow and freezing cold.” She also commented that the new lines would make weekends safer because “Central Campus is a much shorter drunk walk back from Collegetown than North Campus.”

Although the decision has been made, the kinks of the transition are still being worked out. Administrators will now have to find a way perform all the administrative tasks for Balch without a community center on Central Campus. If history is any indication, the most feasible option would be to build a new community center building near the Arts Quad.

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