Food Science Professor Celebrated For Finally Defining “Savory”

STOCKING HALL— Earlier this week, Food Science Professor Rick Touche was lauded for finally nailing down the definition of the word “savory.” This breakthrough was met with relief from billions of food eaters across the globe who have long struggled to explain what they’re tasting.

“His definition is ingenious: broad, but not too broad. Specific, but not too specific,” explained Polly Melendez ’18, an undergraduate researcher in Touche’s lab. “The word ‘savory’ is not exactly what you think it means. Boy oh boy, this definition is so spot-on.”

Touche worked at the definition for nine years, putting in countless hours and tasting thousands of items, ranging from spiderwebs to microwaveable beef stroganoff, in order to reach his groundbreaking conclusion that has changed culinary vocabulary forever.

“This is the discovery of the century, folks,” said Steve O’Donovan ‘20. “I totally agree with what he said and I couldn’t have put it better myself.”

Following the landmark achievement, the Food Science department has already funded Touche’s next wave of highly-anticipated research which will settle, once and for all, the meaning of “umami.”

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