STATLER HALL–In a state of heart-pounding distress, School of Hotel Administration sophomore Franklin Terkinler ‘24 Googled the ingredients necessary to make a cobb salad in order to create flashcards for his upcoming prelim in HADM 4320: Contemporary Healthy Foods.
“After I stupidly identified couscous as quinoa this past prelim, I really need to do well to boost my grade up,” explained Terkinler. “Let’s see… Lettuce, which is ideally a spring mix containing spinach, iceberg, and romaine, bacon, and chicken. Wait. And a few other things… Just let me check…Yes! Cheese, hard-boiled eggs, and red wine vinegar. I SWEAR, I was going to say that!”
Feeling as those ingredients which are familiarly served and consumed, yet never prepared himself, can never be retained in his memory, Terkinler attempted to create a mnemonic device. “The huge issue is that they are mostly consonants, making it difficult to make it naturally roll off the tongue for me, which makes it difficult to remember. SVECCBT? VEBCCTS? I think I need to think of a song. Fuck. FUCK! Maybe Walking On Sunshine will work? That one has a good amount of syllables. This is really bad, I’m in for it.”
“I can’t handle this anymore,” lamented Terkinler, gripping flashcards drenched in his own nervous sweat. “My mind is mush. I keep rotating all of my flashcards but when I land on cobb salad, I always fuck up and list parmesean, spring mix, ceasar dressing, and sourdough croutons. That’s a ceasar salad. UGH! Why do they have to be so similar? Also, since when does cobb salad not have corn in it? It’s literally in the name!”
Because of a few missed crucial lectures, Terkinler unfortunately was not present when the professor went over the addition of olive oil in the dish.