Hilarious Professor Begins Class by Dunking on Idiot 4-year-old Son for Demonstrating Gross Misunderstanding of Astrophysics

SPACE SCIENCES BUILDING—Despite the early hour of the advanced astrophysics class, Professor DeGrasse was reportedly unfazed by the glazed eyes of his sleep deprived students. Thanks to his early morning trip to drop his four-year-old son off at day care, the Professor had a trick up his sleeve that was sure to get his students awake and laughing. 

“This kid Timmy  said ‘but dad, I thought the sun goes down at the end of the day because it is sleepy,” exclaimed a still-laughing Nelson Stevens ‘23. “The class exploded into laughter. It was crazy I mean, I know hotellies smarter than little Timmy, what a moron.” 

After the ten-minute-long break for laughter and a five-minute break for applause, the class snapped to attention, fully awake and ready to learn.

“Professor DeGrasse inspires his students to learn as much as they can every day so that one day, they too can destroy their own five- or six-year-old child with facts and logic. He is constantly educationally innovating, introducing the popular “making fun of small children” education technique to the academic community. His current improvement, “the dart technique”, where students are provided a dart to throw at a poster size photograph of little Timmy for each correctly answered question, is already showing promising results. He admits that “the only reason [he] even had a child was to humiliate them in front of my students” 

Professor DeGrasse regrettably had to end his interview early explaining that Child Protective Services was visiting his home to investigate claims of “emotional abuse, whatever that means.”

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