Oblivious Economics Professors Ecstatic Over Sudden Spike in University Students Researching Coins

WARREN HALL— For Slope Day 2023, the Slope Day Planning Board has rocked the student body with their selection of the world-renowned trio of Chase, Ryan, and Joe from Tennessee. Although the star-studded booking was the result of a nationwide talent search that captured the attention of the undergraduate population, not everyone is with the times.

In a Canvas announcement sent early Tuesday morning, Dyson Professor Robert McNair congratulated his ECON 1426 students on their devotion to the economy after catching a group of students researching what he interpreted to be monetary value. McNair’s statement began “Many critics of your generation say you’re too preoccupied with unimportant things, like bad concerts or indie bands. But after what I witnessed today, I have hope for you young people.”

He was especially inspired after seeing a freshman student, Adrian Daniels ‘26, googling ‘coin song lyrics.’ Professor McNair applauded Daniels for his awareness of how music can make it easier to understand challenging concepts. “It can be hard to remember that Benjamin Franklin occupies the one-hundred dollar bill or that dimes are worth more than nickels despite being smaller coins. Who decided that anyway?” wrote McNair.

“Yeah, I knew he was old,” said Josh Trenton ‘26  “but how could you not know Chase, Ryan, and Joe? And then he started going on about 401K’s and W-2’s, whatever those are.” His sentiment was shared by other ECON 1426 students who didn’t appreciate being ranted to about random numerical codes.

“Who doesn’t know Big C, RyGuy, and Joe?” echoed Erica Rice ‘25. “Their song that goes ‘hmm mm hmm’ was literally everywhere last year and I love that other song by them too,” she recalled, tapping her foot and swaying. 

Being made aware of his mistake, Professor McNair amended his statement. He had, in fact, recognized some of the group’s tunes; his youngest son manages a department store and his wife loves 5k fun runs.

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