“Hey Why is That Guy in the Cop Costume Using Tear Gas on Innocent Civilians?” Frat Doorman Realizes He Messed Up Big Time

STEWART AVE—The many responsibilities of a frat brother can be difficult to juggle. Managing throwing parties, violently hazing freshmen, and covering up said hazing all at once is a tough ask. So when pledge brother Austin Anders ‘26 was put on door duty for Alpha Pi Ro Kappa Delta Gamma’s Halloween party, mistakes–such as welcoming…

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(Original picture from Boris Tsang / Sun Photography Editor, 11/20/2020)

CUPD Releases Survey Showing 107% Approval Rating on Campus

BARTON HALL—In a surprising display of unanimity, the Cornell University Police Department released survey results this past week showing a 107% approval rating of their performance in campus security.  “We had a great pool of 7 respondents, 8 of whom said they had absolutely no problem with police on campus,” Police Chief David Honan commented….

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‘What Did I Miss?’ Asks Architecture Major Leaving Studio for First Time in 18 Weeks

MILSTEIN HALL—Area architecture major Juliet Brimwire ‘21 has enthusiastically emerged from her annual 18-week-long spring studio stint, eager to reconnect with the world beyond her drafting table.  “Every March, once I get into the thick of the semester, I’ll commit to turning off all of my electronics and not leaving Milstein Hall until I conclude…

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