University Encourages Students to Express Creativity Through Snow Genitalia

ITHACA, NY – With the impending snowstorm, the university has expressed excitement over all the potential student-built snow sculptures they hope to see tomorrow. Officials said, “Every year we always get the same few students trying to be funny and building a giant snow penis. We hope this year is different and students tap into their full range of creative capabilities.”

Cornell grounds crew echoed these sentiments by saying, “Instead of seeing the snow penises being built, I’d love to see an authentic creation of the male scrotum, or even the taint. I think it would really speak to the creative flexibility of the students we have here at Cornell.” One crew member said, “I want to wake up tomorrow, step on the grounds of campus, and be overwhelmed by pride as I look across the Arts Quad and see a versatile array of dicks, chodes, balls, ass-cracks, and maybe some nips here or there.”

Cornell, in an effort to maximize creativity and potential, has decided to create teams of three students each: one architect, one fine arts major, and one engineer.  Cornell hopes this way the architect and engineer on each team can help give their pragmatic opinions to keep the ambitious fine arts majors’ plans a possible reality.  One architect, Peter Chen told us, “this one girl on my team wanted to erect a penis the size of the clock tower.  And I turn to the engineer on my team and say, ‘that’ll be pretty hard,’ to which she replies, ‘don’t doubt me, I’m pretty good with my hands.’

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