Namesake of Building, John Henry Highrise V, Dead at 92

CAYUGA MEDICAL CENTER – Late last night, Cayuga Medical Center announced the tragic news that Cornell alumnus of the Class of ’40 and well-known philanthropist John Henry Highrise V passed away after a long battle with serious illness.

Highrise V will be best remembered by his donations that made possible the construction of the North Campus dorm that he famously envisioned as “big. Also, inconveniently located and physically unattractive, but mostly big.”

When asked how he felt about the passing of the namesake of his dormitory, Andrew Mueller ’18 commented, “It’s a real shame to hear about his death. When I think about how this man worked his whole life to provide me the opportunity to walk up six flights of stairs every day to my forced triple, realize that the paper-thin walls make it too loud to work, and walk twenty minutes just to get to the nearest library, I just hope that I can do something more worthwhile with my money.”

Highrise V is survived by his sons, John Henry Highrise VI and Edmund Highrise, and by his wife, Eleanor Physical-Sciences.

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