Eddy Street Gate Doesn’t Know What It’s Doing There Either

COLLEGETOWN — The Eddy Street Gate released a statement saying that it, too, has no idea how it got there. The gate, originally erected in 1896, was supposed to be an entrance to Cornell’s main campus, but by some unknown mechanism is sitting in the back alley behind Cascadilla Hall.

“I don’t belong here,” said the century-old archway. “I belong up on the Arts Quad, or on Ho Plaza even. I can think of a half dozen other better locations.”

The ornately decorated gate did move slightly closer to central campus several years ago, when a garbage truck accidentally backed into one of the columns. The resulting impact moved one of the columns several centimeters closer to its goal.

“What gate?” commented Cornell Director of Grounds Facilities Peter Salino.

While similar gates at other universities such as Brown and Princeton open right up right onto the main green with the important academic buildings, Cornell’s gate will have to be content with its location sort of near Dunbar’s and the crepe truck.