Spring Only 3 Weeks Away According to Bullshit

ARTS QUAD – Although the first day of Spring is technically less than three weeks away, students are calling bullshit.

“If it’s still freezing and snowing every third day, it’s not Spring. That’s horseshit,” explained senior Derrick Fontaine, who noted that any claim that Spring is closer than 6 weeks away is utter and complete nonsense.

“We’ll be lucky if it’s spring by Slope Day. Anyone who says otherwise doesn’t know shit.”

At press time, some students were speculating how fucking ridiculous a claim it was that March had begun.

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