Tag Archives: Weather

With The Return Of Spring, Students Break Out Old Shorts, Tanks, Body Image Issues

AG QUAD—Recent rising temperatures have prompted Cornell students to change their styles, leading to a proliferation of exposed knees, arms, and deep emotional wounds related to body image. “I love that I can now wear fun open-toed shoes instead of the bean boots I needed to trudge through street slush. Read More

Cornell Health’s Zany Health-Related Meme Posters Frankly Just Not Cutting It Right Now

CORNELL HEALTH—Despite a valiant effort to keep morale high, the goofy posters of wellness memes Cornell Health has been hanging up just are not going to get it done at the moment. “I totally understand they’re doing their best to keep everyone’s spirits up,” said Ramash Miraja ‘22. “But when Read More

Student Badly Misjudges Discomfort of Doing Homework Under a Tree

ARTS QUAD—Jumping at the chance to enjoy warm weather in Ithaca, sophomore Ilka Piebald’s excitement quickly turned to dismay after realizing that doing homework outside under a tree actually kinda sucks. “Within two minutes, she was squirming from the discomfort of the oak’s prickly bark against her supple back,” commented Read More

Arizona Student Remarks on Difference Between Humidity and Dry Heat for Fifth Fucking Time

ARTS QUAD—Adding to his friends’ goddamn never ending list of complaints about the recent hot weather, Daniel Brenner ‘21 remarked on the difference between Ithaca’s humidity and the hot, arid climate of his hometown in Arizona for the fifth fucking time this week. “I would take 100 degrees and dry Read More

Attending College in Frozen Hellscape Finally Pays Off

Photo By: Cornell Daily Sun

ITHACA, NY — Following the announcement that Cornell University classes will be canceled as of noon today because of a major snowstorm, reports indicate that attending college in a frozen hellscape such as Ithaca, New York, is finally paying off for students. “When I first started school at this frigid Read More

Snow Offers Students First Non-Controversial Conversation Topic in Over a Month

ARTS QUAD – Following a relatively surprising November snowstorm, reports indicate that Cornell students are using the change in weather as a conversation topic in place of much more controversial issues dominating discussions for the past month. “Wow, I can’t believe it’s so snowy!” said Hannah Palmer ’19, choosing to Read More

“Hallelujah, The Rainy Season Has Come!” Cry Ithaca Dust Bowl Farmers

TOMPKINS COUNTY — Hundreds of dustbowl farmers in the greater Tompkins County area are rejoicing at the coming of the rain, after months of drought brought no crops to their land. “Madge! Madge, get out here, you’re not gonna believe this!” cried Ernest Young, finally seeing the thick storm clouds Read More