April 27, 2015

How to Celebrate Charter Day

  • Find your favorite charter.
  • Attend your 1:25 class.
  • Dress up Ezra and A.D. White’s corpses for the Sesquicentennial
  • Bring A.D. White and Ezra Cornell to the Cornell Dairy Bar and demand three free ice creams.
  • Order the whole menu at CTB and tell them Ezra will take care of it.
  • Take Ezra Cornell to Day Hall and make him demand that they give you a 4.0.
  • Make the founders bodies fight in the arts quad over the main principles of the university.
  • Rekindle A.D. White’s century old love affair with his wife.
  • Show Ezra Cornell’s granddaughter that he really did care for her after all.
  • Panic after Ezra Cornell’s hand falls off when you try to shake David Skorton’s hand.
  • Call in a favor from an estranged friend for some super glue and a steady hand. Learn a valuable lesson about friendship and overcoming challenges.
  • Return the founder’s corpses to their respective graves. Do it right or else their spirits will haunt you.

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